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Wed Aug 17, 05 8:17 pm Outrageous New Kite Parking Fee at the Sandspit |
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In today's Hood River News:
Hood River Parking Enforcement Officer Ronda Gimlin isn’t just writing tickets these days on the street of Hood River — she’s also monitoring the sandspit for kites that have remained, as Ronda stated 'parked down-and-dirty for longer than I think is good kitin' manners...if the wind looks good, and they're not out-there trying at the vary least a backroll...better a slimchance, or some variation of a bad-ass handlepass, I'm gonna hammer em' with a stiff penalty."
This morning, Gimlin handed out the first kite parking ticket on the sandspit. The offending party sandparked a brandnew Cabrinha Crossbow and by Ronda's account "parked his fat-ass on the sandspit and just watched...that's just plain pussy in my book." Once Gimlin finished writing out a $20 ticket for the violation, she admitted that “it was kind of fun handing out the first one...this guy looked like he didn't belong there anyway."
Police Chief Bruce Ludwig said he likes flying kites "just like any other red-blooded American...but you remember what happened to Benjamin Franklin...he got jolted with a bolt of lightening...that's what we're trying to do at the sandspit...zap those lazing f*ckers."
The police department has been asked by the Downtown Business Association to "really hit those lazy-ass kiters....they don't do shit for this town." Gimlin added that she is just doing her job..."those kiters think they're so goddamn cool. Well, it feels equally kickass to hit 'em with a fine...if I could do something more extreme I would, but right now all we've got are economic sanctions." |
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Wind Slither
Since 04 Mar 2005
2570 Posts
The 503
METAL
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Thu Aug 18, 05 5:58 am |
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Sounds like the Poser Patrol that used to kick the "social" sailors out of the Hatch...good call. |
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Scriffler
Since 03 Jul 2005
581 Posts
LYLE
Addicted
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Thu Aug 18, 05 8:43 am Meter Maid |
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A good friend of mine said, "At least every summer when I visit, her ass is a little fatter." |
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