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Good Board Shorts? (Protect the nads)

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Northwest Kiteboarding -> Gorge / Portland / Oregon Coast
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GreasyRick

Since 24 May 2018
11 Posts
Hood River, OR
 



PostWed Jul 15, 20 9:19 pm    Good Board Shorts? (Protect the nads) Reply with quote

So I took a hell of a crash today, kite fully in the power zone when a gust ripped me a good 20 feet downwind. I positioned myself in a good crash pose, feet first, preparing for the slam.

As I contacted the water at approx. 30 knots my shorts split the difference between my balls and flossed them apart at probably 35 knots. Did i mention my gonads were the first part of my body to hit the water? Seriously I thought I ripped my sack in half. I expected to see blood flowing from between my legs.

Don't worry I got the boys on ice but it made me wonder about a good pair of board shorts that might mitigate this problem. Anyone have a similar experience? Im a bit worried about my chances of procreating someday. And no im not going to wear a wetsuit it's 90 degrees out what is with you people?

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eric

Since 13 Jan 2006
1632 Posts

XTreme Poster



PostWed Jul 15, 20 10:16 pm     Reply with quote

I'd look to padded mtb shorts/underwear. Fox/Troy Lee/Pearl Izumi etc. Very comfortable and will dry very fast. You can also get mtb "armored" underwear, but those will have thick thigh pads on the sides that you don't need.

Eric

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a.benjamin76

Since 27 Jul 2017
68 Posts

 



PostThu Jul 16, 20 1:38 am    The Rock Compression Shorts Reply with quote

You could try the Rock Compression Shorts from Under Armour. I haven't worn them on the water because I always wear a wetsuit (dress for the swim, even when it's 90. The Columbia is cold and unforgiving. Trust me.) I own these shorts and they have some cross padding across the groin but it isn't nearly as restrictive as wearing a cup.

https://www.underarmour.com/en-us/project-rock-comp-short/pcid1348531

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Gman

Since 11 Feb 2006
4846 Posts
Portland
Unstrapped



PostThu Jul 16, 20 9:37 am    Re: The Rock Compression Shorts Reply with quote

a.benjamin76 wrote:
You could try the Rock Compression Shorts from Under Armour. I haven't worn them on the water because I always wear a wetsuit (dress for the swim, even when it's 90. The Columbia is cold and unforgiving. Trust me.) I own these shorts and they have some cross padding across the groin but it isn't nearly as restrictive as wearing a cup.

https://www.underarmour.com/en-us/project-rock-comp-short/pcid1348531


That !

Nike also makes compression shorts - just make sure to rinse well/wash after saltwater use or you will saw your sack off

and if you have bloody sack - this can help


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Slappysan

Since 13 Jun 2012
276 Posts

Obsessed



PostThu Jul 16, 20 10:02 am     Reply with quote

Not sure how easy it'll be to find a similar product in the USA but up here in Canada our REI clone MEC makes their own paddling gear and this product is pretty sweet:

https://www.mec.ca/en/product/5021-531/Fusion-Neoprene-Shorts

They are GBS 3m neoprene shorts, not only do they fully protect the boys they also keep them nice and warm as there is hardly any water exchange due to the GBS seams. Most neoprene shorts you'll find are flatlock.

You can wear a pair of board shorts over top to not look like a cyclist.

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chrissmack

Since 08 Jun 2005
484 Posts
portland
Obsessed



PostThu Jul 16, 20 12:54 pm     Reply with quote

or....

cut an old wetsuit into shorts. free

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hilton

Since 15 Aug 2008
656 Posts

Addicted



PostThu Jul 16, 20 1:53 pm     Reply with quote

yes, thin neoprene shorts worn as underwear under your board shorts

http://stores.wetsuit.com/1mm-prolite-neoprene-shorts-black-g14/

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shred_da_gorge

Since 12 Nov 2008
943 Posts

Opinionated



PostThu Jul 16, 20 8:50 pm    Re: Good Board Shorts? (Protect the nads) Reply with quote

GreasyRick wrote:
And no im not going to wear a wetsuit it's 90 degrees out what is with you people?

What's with us is we are dressing for the swim. When you're up by the bridge and the wind dies fast or you have a kitemare and have to spend a bunch of time in water that's 30 degrees below your core temperature, then you may come to appreciate the thermal qualities of neoprene.

And I second the neoprene shorts, not just because I went down to my 3/2 storm shorty last week and realized the crotch is completely worn through (breezy down there). Picked up mine at Pro Motion for $20 but cutting an old wetsuit down is certainly cheaper.

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shred_da_gorge

Since 12 Nov 2008
943 Posts

Opinionated



PostThu Jul 16, 20 8:55 pm     Reply with quote

Slappysan wrote:
You can wear a pair of board shorts over top to not look like a cyclist.

Dammit, I was hoping they had them in fluorescent green! Seriously though, looks like they have a great selection of gear; will see if there's an exchange rate advantage to offset any shipping.

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GreasyRick

Since 24 May 2018
11 Posts
Hood River, OR
 



PostThu Jul 16, 20 9:28 pm     Reply with quote

I'd have to take a few more ball slams before I was caught wearing something like this

I'm thinking neoprene shorts seem like the way to go.

Maybe I'm Wim Hof but I'm pretty sure I could go 6+ hours buck naked in the Columbia this time of year. I'd probably die of boredom before anything else. I'd be happy to run this experiment with someone.


   41aVRx5TlKL._AC_.jpg 

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shred_da_gorge

Since 12 Nov 2008
943 Posts

Opinionated



PostFri Jul 17, 20 7:20 am     Reply with quote

Comes down to preference. I used to dress for the air and still do sometimes, until a few years ago when I had a problem up by the bridge and was trying to self-rescue with a broken hand while a barge was coming. Luckily a friend dragged me out of the way, but in the ER they wrapped me in thermal blankets and said I had started into hypothermia. (I told them it was because their ER was so damned cold). Since then I err a little more on the conservative side, but feel free to flaunt your chonies... nobody should cast judgments.

Speaking of hydrotherapy, there are studies saying it may help fight the dreaded C!

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shred_da_gorge

Since 12 Nov 2008
943 Posts

Opinionated



PostFri Jul 17, 20 7:25 am     Reply with quote

Slappysan wrote:
...here in Canada our REI clone MEC makes their own paddling gear...

Angus, I cannot find me a neoprene kilt! :D

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