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The True Definition of Gaper

 
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TravisBickleRex

Since 30 Jun 2005
313 Posts

Taxi Driver



PostWed Jul 27, 05 9:03 pm    The True Definition of Gaper Reply with quote

Since we're not going to find 'Gaper' in a dictionary, and more importantly I feel the need to rant (and I happen to possess an understanding of the historic import of the term at least from as far back as 1986), I'm afraid it's time for TBickleR to weigh-in...
Unfortunately for you, the reader, I've got a lot on my mind...because today I witnessed what I consider to be the absolute definition of the word Gaper.
1) My understanding of the term: I first heard the term at Mt. Hood Meadows in 1986. It wasn't used to insult a skier's ability. The term was used to describe the attitude of the offending party. ...And that attitude was this: "I am the man ." "I am the shit" or updated for the early 2000's "I am the shizwizzle." Unfortunately for our hero, the facts were far from this; the offending party was completely oblivious to the cold and hard reality. And that cold and hard reality was that that they sucked...plus something extra. And that's exactly what I witnessed today: suck+something heavy duty extra.
2) The Scene: Hood River hits 100 degrees at 4:00 p.m., no wind, just a sweltering...sticky...and aweful state of affairs. By 4:30 p.m. a very slight, but steady westerly pulse is felt. By 5:00 p.m. it's blowing 17 mph with 99 degree air temp. And all of Hood River hits the water: motor boats, jet skis, kids & parents swimming from the marina, new kiters, old kiters, pro kiters, the US Windsurfing National Championship's first heats from the Event Site, along with the usual Wednesday night sailboat race series. ...There was likely an amphibious vehicle, submarine, and hovercraft that I didn't notice because of all the liquid commotion. I will admit though, it was a really fun night to be on the water, but one where you really oughta' be using your best common sense to navigate through it all.
3) The Offending Party: Dude on a large Naish Torch. He spots a mother and three kids wading in the shallows just east of the eastern most sandbar. Tool/Gaper/Dumbfuck buries a rail and loads-up...25 feet upwind of the 3 kids and mom. He uncorks and air straight over all of them and lands downwind of them. I was absolutely stunned, shocked, pissed-off, and...well....still thinking about it 3 hours later and marveling that we have this kind of idiot amongst us.
In my book, this tool is the definition of achieving self-actualized Gaperdom; too cool-for-school and dangerous.

If DangerD has targets, this is the kinda' feller you oughta be gunning for.

Last edited by TravisBickleRex on Thu Jul 28, 05 7:49 am; edited 1 time in total

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bamboo

Since 24 Jun 2005
165 Posts
da 'chung; taiwan
Stoked



PostWed Jul 27, 05 10:24 pm     Reply with quote

as the old adage goes...if left to our vices we will kill ourselves. as well as those around us. some just do it faster than others. and some might argue not fast enough.

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dangerD

Since 27 Jun 2005
223 Posts
Bingen Heights
Stoked



PostThu Jul 28, 05 7:22 am    gapers Reply with quote

Wow.. The Sand Bar is off the hook for sure. I wont go back til september because of losers like your Naish buddy. Naisholes are always good targets for the alliance. They typically use bad judgment both when purchasing and flying kites. There is no room for them west of Cockrock. But I dont think I'd consider this guy a gaper. He knew what he was doing and was showing off. (heck it could have been his wife and kids!) A 'tool'.. yes. Jackass for sure, Idiot..yeah, a Cidiot (if hes from P-town).. but to me a Gaper is something truly special.
What is the essence of the Gaper? A dropped jaw is by definition a gape. Blank starring shows the lack of understanding a gaper feels as a situation approaches. A true gaper will not react even as the danger becomes immenant. The gaper will leave the jaw open and not move until after the moment of impact much like a deer starring into headlights. Instead of acting quick to save the day, they will be in the wrong place at the wrong time and always react poorly. Often gapers compund situations. Im pretty sure the term came from skiing, where jean clad, out of shape citiots would stop and stare in a place that is out of view but right in the middle of a run, probably right below a popular jump. As real skiers air over their heads, the faint echo can be heard, "F#$in' Gapers!"

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Wind Slither

Since 04 Mar 2005
2570 Posts
The 503
METAL



PostThu Jul 28, 05 8:07 am     Reply with quote

jumping over the family seems like more of a "kook" move than a "gaper" move.

Can we please stop bagging on Naish and Ptown? One I love and the other I am stuck with...for now. Crying or Very sad

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4Stringer/KipWinger

Since 27 Apr 2005
541 Posts
Hood River
Addicted



PostThu Jul 28, 05 8:40 am    Gaper Reply with quote

While I respect the thought given by TBickleRex in developing his argument, I must say that my understanding of the 'Gaper' term is more along the lines of: picture the dude below as a kiteboarder.

   106614.jpg 

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ReeferMadness

Since 21 Apr 2005
32 Posts
Seattle
 



PostFri Jul 29, 05 9:22 am    Re: The True Definition of Gaper Reply with quote

TravisBickleRex wrote:
I first heard the term at Mt. Hood Meadows in 1986.


I too first heard the term 'Gaper' at Mt. Hood Meadows, Me and my friends usually refer to a Gaper as someone who get's in over their head and f*cks up the snow for the rest of us. Ie drops into my favorite chute and side slips it the whole way screwing the pow up for the rest of us... Or standing in a dangerous spot (below a jump/kicker/cornice) on the mountain gaping around oblivious to the danger.

Gapers and crowds used to piss me off royally but then i realized it was really my problem and that what i needed to do was get off my ass and leave the resorts permanently. I know it sound drastic but it had to be done. Me and my buddy had been thinking about for a long time and we finally mortgaged our lives and ride sleds and explore the backcountry full time ~ now we are happy to see anyone else w/ a snowboard. fuckin rad is all i have to say.

Not sure how this translates to kiting but thought i would share.

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