Assaulted near White Salmon bridge while kiting

kassak · Since 18 May 2010 108 Posts Stoked

I am writing this so everyone knows to be careful and watch out for this guy.

So I was cruising around riding some swell this past week on a delightful afternoon. For whatever reason the area around the White Salmon bridge was pretty much cleared out. There was just one dude bobbing around, someone told me he goes by "G 33". He was pretty quiet but had this presence about him. We were both slashing some nice swell for a while and he seemed pretty cool. I was super stoked, and thought we were vibing, so I cruised by, hollered and threw my hand out to give the old high five'r. Well for whatever reason instead of extending me the courtesy he decided at the last second to jump right towards me and I ran right into him, knocking me off my board.

It was super aggressive and a totally ass move for sure. Well sure maybe I was a little too friendly and should have saved the high five's for the beach but his move seemed uncalled for. After I got myself together I called his mother a recycled garbage truck. That was probably not helpful but I was super pissed. I've got to imagine that this isn't the first time this guy has pulled a move like that. He's probably cut a bunch of people off riding swell and I imagine he's one of those that is always too preoccupied to help land someone.

True story.

WINDUDE · Since 10 Jun 2010 558 Posts GORGE! Addicted

sounds like a fable

Flo · Since 02 Feb 2016 19 Posts White Salmon

That guy is a real brick. He was reaching for my lines last year while I was body dragging towards my board. Kicked him in his green face to get away from him. I was hopeful he was gone for good this spring, but I was wrong. Watch out for that bastard.

fisherman · Since 06 Aug 2007 113 Posts Stoked

Or maybe he is one of those disillusioned Bernie or Hillary supporter who hates the whole world now.

Wind Slither · Since 04 Mar 2005 2588 Posts The 503 METAL

Sounds like his river rat swell steez was
rolling strong all day long.

jerp · Since 22 Feb 2013 453 Posts Obsessed

Singlemalt · Since 21 Jun 2015 474 Posts White Salmon Obsessed

He's green. And he almost drown an unfortunate kiter who tangled with him. Best to stay clear of him.

Sucks that he just parks it in the sweet spot and never moves.

Freeride Kiter · Sat Jul 15, 17 1:32 pm

From what I hear, G33 and crew are kind of a big deal. I'd leave them alone. If you see the Buoy Tender Bluebell you should ask them about getting G33 to play nice.

pollywog · Since 07 Aug 2009 291 Posts Obsessed

Description? Anything will help so I can stay the hell away from him. Asshats can f-up good times with unnecessary aggression.

Ho-Toe · Mon Jul 17, 17 5:25 am **his buddy at the coast**

This jerk sounds a lot like the asshole who dropped in on me the other day, who goes by the name of Eschrichtius robustus, aka Devilfish. I was minding my own business, riding a waist-high wave at [beach name redacted], and he came out of nowhere and nearly knocked me off of my board.

I guess he is more of a local than me, though...

Look out for this guy at the coast!

Sella · Mon Jul 17, 17 9:11 am

deminimis · Since 15 Jul 2014 326 Posts On the Rocks Obsessed

His friend, Gill, hangs out at the up river end of Wells. Those dudes can ruin a day real quick.

moondog · Mon Jul 17, 17 6:00 pm

Don't forget his other buddy "Woody Stumpslogger" , he has been a real pain out there this year. He has been going after kiters west of Wells Island! We need to call the coast guard ASAP!

topillogical · Since 21 Aug 2014 3 Posts Olympia, WA Kook

I think that documenting this guy's behavior on GoPros (helmet mounted for best view of his actions) and compiling the footage would be a good start to putting a stop to this. Unfortunately, an assault needs to also involve actual injury, not just the chance of an injury. Thus, unless he is successful in causing bodily harm, the most it seems like he is guilt of is vandalism, and being an asshole. Where the latter is not in the Oregon or Washington legal code.

s_e_a_n_s · Since 29 Oct 2008 1 Posts New Member

It's best just stay away from these guys. They roll hard - holdouts from the turf wars of the 80's. Your 'friend' G33 pretty much ran the GCK (Green Can Krew). Their main rivals, the 'Evens', were led by RedNun himself. They more or less honor a fragile truce and keep their respective sides of the river, but every once and a while one goes rogue and it gets messy fast.

And don't even try to involve law enforcement. The feds know all these guys; they have protection from on-high. It's some serious deep-state sh*t.

Singlemalt · Since 21 Jun 2015 474 Posts White Salmon Obsessed

Bad boys, bad boys, what you going to do?

knotwindy · Since 25 Sep 2011 607 Posts Addicted

Seems they have their own line-up on the river. Best stay away or get canned.